For those of you who dunno wat's honey stars, it's a kind of breakfast cereal shaped like stars, and coated with honey... lol, sounds quite retarded, but yeah...

so, after so many years without honey stars, last week i bought a box. used to have it for breakfast when i was little, but then it attracts ants like crazy, so soon after my mom switched to Koko Krunch, and i have been having that for breakfast until dunno when... well, so much for the story fo the past, now let's come back to this present box that i bought last week... it's currently sitting on my lap, while i eat it n type this post... not sure if it's because they changed the formula, or perhaps i just remembered it wrongly, but the taste somehow doesn't feel the same anymore... perhaps it's this whole grain thingy that they've introduced... i used to remember honey stars as candy that melts in your mouth (lol to MnMs), but now, suddenly it feels more... healthy. and no ants! no ants at all! i'm pretty sure it's not because i've done an extremely good job at sealing the thing away, but rather, honey stars is just not the honey stars that i once knew... *sigh* gone by the passing of time...

Well well, look who's blogging! To think i was actually planning to stop blogging altogether, but i guess keeping it in isn't exactly healthy...

The thing is, I'm struggling to live on each day... On the one hand, i try my best to believe on others to do their part, and not monitor their progress... but on the other, i KNOW that is not going to work! Still, the trouble that i will have to go through to get things right, to start things off, to correct the wrongs... to be honest, i don't feel that i'm up for it... I am but one person, how do i keep up with so many burdens? the burden of many on the shoulder of one... i feel that i will crush under its weight... even if i DO live to tell the tale, is it worth it?? What's a team if there is no teamwork? Why should the leader bother to lead, if the subordinates are just going to let him down in the end? To this question, i can find no answer...

i AM struggling, struggling to solve this dissonance in me... to strive a balance between achievement, and relaxation... the mean, the end...

So tomorrow school will start, and all the club activities, school work etc etc shall resume very very soon... though i don't have class tomorrow XD haha... but still that marks the end of my 3 months' break, which was a good slack from uni life... the hectic uni life... sigh... wish holiday would not end...

right, since i haven't blogged in awhile, there are alot of things to say... then again, i don't really remember alot of things... not when they have passed... and i'm not the type to upload photos so there won't be any photos... haha, so in essence, there are lots of things that happened, but nothing much that i can say about... hehe, i go by this motto: look not the past, for it has been done; look not the future, for it has yet to come; cherish the present, for it will fade away soon. yea, something like that... lol, not really true la, but i always like to crap something out to justify my laziness to recall what i did during my holiday in malaysia...

so we move on to last 2 weeks of msa foc senior camp and actual camp... the past 2 weeks were seriously packed with activities, so sorry to those ppl that i promised to visit when i get back to singapore, cuz there really wasn't any free time... i'll try to make it up some other time k! but i'll bet it'll be in the not-so-near future... ok, back to talking about the camps... senior camp was pretty enjoyable, though alot of stuff were kinda "buggy" in computer terms... but it was fun to meet up with friends again, and get to know more ppl that was previously in different groups... though i have a feeling i won't really see them anymore after this... just like how i didn't see them before this, haha... there was one problem that i didn't expect to face in this foc... and that is, i dunno who are the juniors and who are the seniors!! well, i can tell them apart most of the time, but some seniors that i have never see before sometimes can just pass as a freshie... geez... then also hard to say how senior are certain seniors... basically it's just problematic to say which year is a certain person... don't they all look the same? i mean, 1 or 2 years difference is really no big deal right? ah well... enough of that, now to what happened in the camp... for the senior camp, we were testing all those games, n so alot of changes were made after the tests... like for my game, alot of things have to change, or rather, it became an entirely new game... haha, the telematch didn't change much for my part, but humanline was changed to b-cups... haha... yea, all these changes were made after the 3-days senior camps, in a place called nexus... which explains why there was no free time... cuz busy addressing to the problems raised by the seniors... one of the bigger adjustments would be "a walk to remember"... yea, nice name... but it's ghost walk lar... n i changed from the finger ghost aka janitor uncle (u'll know what i mean if u played it) to the staircase ghost (better than being the chi ko pek haha)... the route were changed... the lightings were dimmed to the max... basically, we made the ghost walk from ok-ok scary to not-for-the-weak-hearted scary... argh! reminds of some noob juniors... nvm, i shall not talk about that here... haha, anw, i guess the juniors' reactions were extreme? alot of them pulled out in the first room, few pull out mid-way, and the rest got thru... some of the juniors don't appear scared... everytime i pop out they just walk by... hmm... maybe cuz they didn't where i was, and i lost my voice... yea... the voice part could be a reason... cuz my screaming wasn't exactly satisfactory i think... i was taking peipakoa until i feel abit stomach-ache haha... but some of them were obviously scared, and that's the fun of being the ghost rite?? if only the juniors could be more cooperative, then it would be more fun... not just for this walk, but other games also... hmm... but i guess it's interesting to be a senior now... though it seem to come with extra workload, more pressure cuz u can't be the blur-blur one anymore... also sad to see the juniors decreasing as the camp goes on... on the last day, not a single OG had 10 or more juniors... it is discouraging... but i feel that we have gave our best (well, i dunno about everyone, but at least for those ppl that i know), and hopefully our juniors can continue on with the spirit of MSA, and let the next batch of freshies feel at home as well...